i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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