we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize