I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
