a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
