I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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