Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
