I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
