do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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