i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
