Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
