There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
