don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
