batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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