1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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