so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
