pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
