I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize