I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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