i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
