She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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