I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
