Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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