I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
