Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
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I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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