he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
