just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Are we still banned from the library?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
