And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
