shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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