She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
