it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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