Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
50% drunk capacity currently
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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