you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
