Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
