And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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