i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
