you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
