cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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