whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
