Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm sobbing to NWA
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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