well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
