We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
