making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
