I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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