I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
