THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
