No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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