just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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