I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
