I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize