Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
