I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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