his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
