Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
