Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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