also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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