I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
