You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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