We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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