You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
