I bet he comes in French.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
