elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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